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Random Thought of the Day - The Difference Between Victims and Survivors (as I see it)

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themerrylotus
55
2 years agoSteemit2 min read

Let me start with this - I have been both a victim and a survivor. I played both extremely well and they were both necessary. For how else can you survive, if you weren't a victim to begin with?

I've always heard "you are so brave", just for the sheer act of surviving something, as if there were really a choice in the matter other than succumbing or death. The whole you are so brave thing has always puzzled me. I think it's just something people say when they have no other words and are trying to be supportive.

Victims vs Survivors 1.jpg
(I chopped every bit of this firewood and thought it would be a good background)

So, what is the difference between victims and survivors? In my experience and how I see it, is that the "victims" focus on the minutia (tiniest of details) of every situation. While the "survivors" compare new situations to the tragedies or trauma they have already survived. When I break it all down, it always comes back to this.

Regardless of what one has endured, at its essence or core, is pain. Victims focus on how much more unjust or painful their experiences are and how no one has suffered to the degree that they have. They let their experiences define them. While survivors know that pain hurts, no matter the type, intensity or duration. They acknowledge that pain is pain, and it all sucks. They define their trauma.

Survivors have that moment of clarity, that conscious moment of choosing to flip the switch. That moment of choosing life over the struggle.

Moving from victim to survivor was a conscious choice for me. It was a decision not to proclaim each and every perceived injustice. Like so many of you, I have suffered more than my fair share of misfortune, hardship and struggle.

I'm not even sure why I wrote this. Though it does explain a bit of why I always sign my posts with "Onward in Strength".

I'll close with something a wise person told me once. "With each breath you take, is the opportunity to start all over." Your life is completely in your hands. It's up to you, how you chose to live it, from this moment forward.

As Always Onward in Strength,
Mary Lotus

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