A True History of The Garden of Eden, Part 6
I am one of thousands of people affected by @quinneaker's visionary community the @gardenofeden. As we clean and organize in preparation for a big move towards Eden 2.0, it's time to let go of my own incredible history here:
Part 6 👇🏽
I spent many months meditating and staring off into space, questioning my entire existence after The Fight with my ex.
We both stayed at the @gardenofeden after our altercation. He had been there before me and offered unique services to the community, and I knew I was exactly where I needed to be to do serious soul work.
@quinneaker knew we both carried old trauma and acted from it rather than rational consciousness sometimes, just as most people do. He forgave our brokenness and held the same healing space for us with no judgement whatsoever, just as he did for everyone else who came to the @gardenofeden.
"There's more than enough of everything," Quinn assured me. "Plenty of space, plenty of wifi, plenty of food. You can both be here and you don't have to be together."
We weren't together, but it wasn't a clean break either. In fact, my ex spent countless hours following me around the property in those later months. Remembering how he wouldn't leave me alone despite my loud demands for space and privacy, despite my extremely negative reaction to his presence, despite my tears and pleading with him to just for the love of fuck leave me the fuck alone, pisses me off now even more than recalling that nasty night fight....
Quinn did not take sides, nor did he cater to my weakness or coddle me in any way.
"He's doing it because you keep reacting to it, Sara. You're both addicted to the drama. If one of you changes, the whole relationship changes. It's all energy, and it's all in alignment." He shared a heightened perspective and encouraged self-empowerment.
The revolution begins within...
"Realistically, you're the one who has to shift, or you will keep playing this out again and again - with him or with someone else."
For a long time it didn't make sense to me. What was I doing that yielded polar opposite results of what I actually wanted? And how was I going to figure out something completely beyond my understanding?
Like I said, I meditated a lot.
Quinn checked on me from time to time. Sometimes he offered more advice, sometimes he had to repeat the exact thing he told me last time, sometimes he just sat with me in silence. I was so used to disconnecting and disappearing into myself that I almost never started any kind of conversation or volunteered much information on my emotional, mental, or spiritual state, but Quinn is so intuitive that he could speak to it without me saying much. I greatly appreciated his wise words and presence; he lifted many an emotional burden for me just by being there.
Does someone need a speck of cheer?
He had no obligation to do any of that for me. I had not been invited to the @gardenofeden; I was just another person who showed up here because it sounded cool. I wasn't family. I wasn't a significant other or even much of a friend at that time. Even though I contributed to the basic operations of our sustainable community, I'd actually been quite a disruptive asshole.
But he showed up for me again and again and again, never ever holding it against me, never ever acting like I owed him anything in return. He simply appeared, time and again, in service to help - especially when I was in pain and turmoil.
And I was hardly the only person at the @gardenofeden who was troubled. There was the woman who had been raped almost daily by her father when she was a child. There was the man who had been homeless and living on the streets for 15 years before he got there. There was the woman and her son with mercury poisoning, his so bad that he was autistic, plus her psycho abusive ex and other children on top of it. There was the guy who's infant son had smothered in a plastic bag next to their bed. There was the girl who spent the first 7 years of her life in a Russian orphanage. There were multiple people who were morbidly obese. There were the prostitutes, and the recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. There was my ex too - everyone with their own history and suffering and pain. All these broken beings had been drawn to the @gardenofeden in hopes of something better, and Quinn looked after us all.
Quinn opened his home and consistently showed up to help each and every one of us, often one on one, sometimes in group meetings. I saw what he gave to us, often sacrificing time with his family or his own comfort to do so.
Contrasting that unwavering support and real love with everything I knew about relationships was priceless inspiration to strive to be better and better.
I wanted to so badly to fall back on my old ways and disconnect and hide, to ignore these painful, ugly feelings and run away and pretend that everything was fine and go on about the day.
But I couldn't forsake Quinn's generosity, compassion, kindness, and resonating wisdom. In thanks to the Universe for answering my silent prayers for guidance, light, love, and truth - in thanks to Quinn - I devoted myself to looking deeper and deeper.
He inspired me to heal, and he gave me everything I needed to do it.
All I had to do was heal.
Do you want to know why I live at the @gardenofeden?
Join me in the next post, and we'll enjoy this story of real love together.