A True History of The Garden of Eden, Part 3
I am one of thousands of people affected by @quinneaker's visionary community the @gardenofeden. As we clean and organize in preparation for a big move towards Eden 2.0, it's time to let go of my own incredible history here:
I came to the @gardenofeden with a sliced hand and waaaay more baggage than I realized, in search of soul fire. I thought I had my shit together because I did yoga, meditation, and practiced Reiki...of course those tools are valuable and helpful, but I was nowhere near the enlightened master I fancied myself to be.
This was all the more apparent in the presence of the most generous and compassionate people I have ever met. @quinneaker (a true master) founded the @gardenofeden to share hope, inspiration, freedom, and infinite potential with any and everyone. He and @everlove had opened their home every day for almost a decade to total strangers from around the world, just to share an awesome life, asking for nothing in return.
Home is where the heart is
They held space for volunteers, seekers, students, families, business people, neighbors, survivors, former prostitutes, recovering drug addicts, battered women, and especially children. They fed people for free with food they grew and harvested themselves. They repurposed forsaken waste into valuable resources, gave homes to people with nowhere to go, built a new system that supported rather than raped the Earth, provided natural healthcare options and education with the sick and weary. And Quinn did it all at an expense of just $1 a day per person, footing the entire bill through his own efforts - no rich benefactors, no corporate sponsorship, no government funding.
I was gobsmacked. I recognized their generosity, and although it inspired me, I also felt like a total selfish, irresponsible, inconsiderate, judgmental, incompetent, hateful shit in comparison. This made me so uncomfortable that I practically ran out of any room Quinn was in.
Ignoring feelings was and had been my coping mechanism for as long as I could remember, and I was awesome at it. I could deny emotions, be oblivious to people and situations, even disregard my frequent and sometimes significant accidents. I was great at accomplishing menial tasks and disconnecting from almost all else. (The only place I felt like I didn't have to hide or pretend was around the children at The Garden of Eden - but they were so pure and I felt like a bad influence, so I avoided and neglected them too back then.)
As I would soon find out, even my masterful neglect skillz were no match for Quinn's perception and awareness.
Thankfully (oh man you don't even know the depth of thanks yet!), a distraction from all those uncomfortable feelings and the energy it takes to deny them, the confusion, and the ego challenge of being near beings far greater than I immediately presented itself.
I fell in what I thought was love.
I met someone within a month of coming to the @gardenofeden, and we were off to the races.
It was intense, exciting, expansive. He was sharp, strong, passionate. I was compelled to him, like a moth to a flame.
Within another month he asked me to marry him, and I said yes.
I was floating in a delusional fantasy, drunk on "love", ignoring reason and logic as I am want to do.
I called him my twin flame, and we absolutely ignited a powder keg.
Unconscious relationships are great places to hide from yourself - you can blame your partner for any and all problems without taking responsibility for your own life.
For the next year, we tried to destroy each other in a horrific display of fighting and fucking.
It was obvious I came to the @gardenofeden to break down all this shit and redefine relationships.
At my ugliest and absolute worst, it was Quinn who would show me what love really is and inspire a profound transformation that I pray will uplift and ignite others.
Do you want to know why I live at the @gardenofeden?
Join me in the next post, for the gory details of a real love story.