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Forkhouse 5: 4 days left


9 months agoBusy2 min read


All this HardFork is no use.

The Bear-Man grinned lecherously at me as I entered his shadowy cave of a shop.

I beg your pardon?

I said in my sophisticated voice which is the one that sounds as if I have never had a wet fart at the family Christmas Dinner.

Truth be told, I had not expected the HardFork to have such far reaching effects as for bearded normies to be talking about it in beer shops.


Aye, I mean who actually wants it?

He looked at me with a hint of accusation as if he thought I were one of the nefarious whales controlling the world from behind the scenes. Perhaps he worried I would shadowban him?

Well, lots of people seem to be in favour of it?

I said with a tinge of uncertainty

Aye, nutters.

Said the Bear-Man with a grim satisfaction, folding his beefy trunk-like arms across his chest.

Well, it's not till Tuesday at least. I suppose we can just wait and see.

The Bear-Man looked perplexed as if he had woken up on a boat with an Abyssinian Sand Terrier.

Don't matter what day it is, no day is a good day for HardFork.

He grunted in his obtusely thick accent.


Yeah, I suppose.

I found myself nodding in agreement.

We should try to be optimistic though, at least until we see the changes first hand.

I said brightly.

What changes?

Grumbled the Bear-Man, his brows folding down like an abstract form of hairy Origami.

The changes... You know, from the HardFork?

I said politely as if he weren't a big buffoon.

What the fuck's a Hard Fork?

He bellowed.


What we were talking about, you know, before?

I backed up slightly as he flailed his brutish arms to the sides in confusion.

My hand reached out and grabbed a bottle from a nearby shelf to use as a weapon. It wouldn't be the first time I had sought to defend myself in here although normally it was from the terror of errant penises.


He said with a profound bafflement.

Oh, hard work. Right. Ahem. Yes, it's an awful thing.

I put the bottle on the counter for him to ring up on the till and tried to pretend that the last five minutes hadn't just happened.


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