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Not satisfied with the deaths of most of The Resistance forces (and common sense), The Last Jedi is now killing other movies too.


last yearBusy6 min read

I was willing to let the complete disaster that was The Last Jedi go. I even wrote two different reviews of it. One with my mind on and the other with it off. I figured The Last Jedi was a dumb kids' movie that was not aimed at making anyone with a brain happy. And I was completely fine with that.

That is until Solo flopped.

I am not going to do a scientific survey to figure out if the fact that The Last Jedi was a complete train-wreck is the cause behind the "failure" of Solo. That is the beauty of the internet. I am a guy with a keyboard and an opinion. I don't need science or facts. I can make a completely uneducated and unsubstantiated argument, send it out into the interweb and move on with my day.

A couple of days ago, several sources reported that due to the "failure" of Solo, Disney was scrapping the other Star Wars spinoffs... including the Boba Fett movie.

They're killing the Boba Fett movie?

Are they freaking crazy?

Although he was only on screen for less than 20 minutes total in the original trilogy, Boba Fett has become one of the most popular characters in the Star Wars universe. Every Star Wars geek I know was looking forward to the Boba Fett movie.

I think Disney is making a HUGE mistake and a knee jerk reaction to the fallout from releasing the worst non-prequel Star Wars film ever: The Last Jedi.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that The Last Jedi is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The fact that it is better than the prequels is nothing to be proud of.

Because of expensive re-shoots and an enormous ad campaign, Solo is going to lose money. But there is no way that is the movie's fault. The movie is very entertaining. Although, it is not ground breaking, it is incredibly fun. There are far worse movies that have earned far more money. I believe Solo is being punished because of the tremendous dumpster fire that was The Last Jedi. I think that movie (not Solo) is what turned people away from the franchise. People with brains stayed away from the theater as a way to avoid being duped like they were by The Last Jedi. Once they watch Solo on DVD or stream it, they will see that it was much better than The Last Jedi. Perhaps it will be entertaining enough to win them back. Even if they still have their doubts, an excellent Boba Fett movie would fix those in a hurry.

This movie was a ton of fun. It does not deserve to be tied to the downfall of all planned spinoffs.

Disney should be using the Boba Fett movie as a way to make amends for The Last Jedi rather than punishing fans for the decisions of the creates of that monstrosity.

I still have not been able to bring myself to write a full on rant lambasting the utter catastrophe that The Last Jedi is, here is a quick sample of my thoughts as to why it may have turned so many fans off that they chose to miss out on a movie that was actually fun and made sense.

Hi I'm Luke Skywalker. The last time you saw me I was a huge hero. Now I am an annoying, grumpy, coward who tried to kill his young nephew and hides out on a planet while those I love are trying to fight evil.

1.They made Luke a complete douche.

The Force Awakens was a love letter to Han Solo. The Last Jedi should have done the same for Luke. Instead of reminding the audience how heroic Luke was, they made him an asshole and a coward. While Luke's friends continued to fight to protect the galaxy, Luke (the most powerful ally they have) hid on an island like a little freaking wussy. He could feel the suffering his sister was experiencing, yet he stayed hidden. He also tried to kill his own nephew (resulting in creating a super villain who killed the real hero of Star Wars). When someone who was brave enough to stand up to evil arrived and asked for help, Luke was a total prick to her. What a douchebag!

2.The events that take place during forty-five minutes of the movie never needed to occur.

Every second spent on the casino planet is completely useless and stupid. All the purple-haired Leia replacement had to do was tell Poe that she had a plan to fly by a planet and jettison escape pods filled with the fleet's survivors. If she shared that little bit of info with him, he would have never encouraged Rose and Finn to go on some stupid mission to find a slicer wearing a rose and BB-8 would have never had to stop an attacker by shooting coins at him. (Huh?)

3.Finn and Rose were thrown in jail because of a parking violation.

How in the hell did that make it past any producers/studio execs?

They allowed that to be shown in theaters and then they are surprised when the next movie in the series is not a huge success?

Why would the audience trust a team that allowed that nonsense?

4.Leia somehow magically survives and floats through outer space.

Ummmmmmmmmm. Leia somehow magically survives and floats through outer space.

Enough said.

5.A complete lack of understanding of physics.

Bombers play a huge role in the beginning of the movie. But there is one huge problem with that. The bombers are in space. By definition, bombers drop bombs. Typically a bomb door opens and bombs fall onto a target. There is a problem with that. Dropping and falling rely on GRAVITY. Do you know what doesn't exist in space?


The entire scene involving Rose's sister dramatically kicking the rack of bombs in order to dislodge them and send them falling onto the enemy ship is utter and complete nonsense!

Oh and how the heck is Paige breathing with that bomb door open?

Heck I am the biggest Star Wars geek I know. Even though I haven't listed all of my complaints, even I am starting to doubt why the hell I like Star Wars (Ok that's not true. I love it in spite of its flaws.)

Come on Disney! After making us suffer through The Last Jedi you owe us fanboys a great Boba Fett movie (and my $15 back).

Images 1, 2, 3, 4, 5


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