When I go to sleep at night I am not resting...
Whenever I put my head on the pillow, is because I feel tired and want to rest. Somehow my body is tired and my mind is fully alert. I remember the days when my mother used to tell me, whenever she puts her head on the pillow, the movies start. What she meant by that, is the problems or issues she had to think about. In my case I dont really have many problems, but I think I started thinking too much, that I cant visualize or dream anymore.
Meditation became a history that I am trying hard to recover. I became too realistic and I know how bad that is. I am a person who used to be a dreamer and never looked at reality. Now I am awake to see and hear what negative people around me are saying and of course I need to ignore all that. I have to fight to reach my goals that arent that visible anymore. I know what I want, but I feel overwhelmed, not knowing how to start. I am back to the 0 point where I need to understand what I really want and wish for to work for it the right way. I want to laugh, I want to smile and enjoy myself.
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