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Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (film): Pretty terrible


11 months agoSteemit2 min read

I guess there is a reason that I never heard of this film despite the fact that it was released 10 years ago and features one of my favorite comedy actors John C. Reilly.


The story is based on some books I also didn't know existed but were apparently very popular among younger people to the point where it has been translated into 30 languages. I'm not gonna get on anyone's case for liking a particular type of book and am just happy that young people read anything really.

Darren meets a Vampire named Larten Crepsley (played by John C.) and for one reason or another convinces Larten to turn him into his half-vampire assistant.


Larten then introduces him to all of his freak show friends and blah blah blah, it doesn't matter. It's pretty evident really early on that everything is headed towards a Twilight style battle of sorts against the rival gang of vampires and that is the real story.


Unfortunately, one of this film's many flaws was the addition of Josh Hutcherson (this is purely a personal vendetta on my part) who I have disliked as an actor and person ever since his extremely weak portrayal of Peeta in The Hunger Games films. Almost every line his character "Steve" has in this film is eye-roll inducing, as does his stupid face, which somehow seems younger now than during Hunger Games.

This film kind of bombed at the box office and failed to make back its budget of 40 million. I would imagine the long list of A-list celebrities ate up a bunch of the overall budget, because the CGI in this film as well as the fight sequences are actually really weak.

The movie is kind of boring and of course is extremely predictable as the main plot line is evident to anyone with partial brain activity very early on in the story. There apparently is a lot more to the story and the ending alludes to possible sequels. However, due to the fact that this one did so poorly, it is unlikely they are going to focus too much on that in the future and I for one, am not at all disappointed about this.



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