Coming to America is...well...Coming to America ~ Comedy Open Mic Round # 26

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blewitt
61
3 months agoBusy3 min read

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Ok so who here likes Funko Pops???

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Great!!! We got one guy. Now let me show you dumb fucks what I just got today!!!

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Well it’s the Exclusive Akeem Joffer GOLD Funko Pop. Akeem is the Prince of Zamunda in the always hilarious, Coming to America. In the film Eddie Murphy kills it!! If you have not seen the film then please participate in ANY of these activities at once. Dealers choice.

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Now that we weeded out those dipshits, I can tell ya a bit about this treasure before me. This is a Target Exclusive which simply put, means it’ll be a bitch to find. In my area, these mofo’s don’t mess around or shower, and line up hours before the store opens to score the latest Pops to bring home to their ever growing cardboard box collection that just happens to have a toy inside. Luckily for me I have a friend who is batshit insane and picks us up extra cool pieces from time to time when he’s on his morning hunt through the unforgiving battlefields of Walmart’s and Target’s across the Armpit of America.

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Let’s open this shit!!! Or should I leave it in the box? What do you think @saywha?!? Will this be a fine addition to my cardboard collection?!? Which way will work better for tub playtime?

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So upon opening you’ll see a super fancy XL shirt which I CANNOT WAIT to NEVER EVER wear in public! My wife is already ashamed, grossed out, and doesn’t want to fuck me as is...why add fuel to the fire?!?

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I mean...contrary to popular belief...the Akeem Black & Gold Funko Pop Shirt does not tick off a lot of boxes in the “what drives her wild” category. I know...I know...shocking!

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Ok...so now the moment that 3 people worldwide, who aren’t even going to read this have been waiting for........

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Wow. So Cool...right? Ok...so back to the fucktards who haven’t seen Coming to America. What’s your problem? Seriously...Don’t you ever have a craving for some...

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If not just watch it already. Go home right now. I don’t give a shit if you are hard at work at Petco and are pretending to have mudbutt so you can blog on Steemit in the employee bathroom. Go up to your slob of a manager and tell that worthless bag o’ dicks that YOU...are taking the rest of the day off...with pay...to let your Soul Glow. If not...you are just pure trash. Total. Fucking. Garbage...

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Thanks Akeem!

I nominate @deadspace & @dfinney for the @comedyopenmic challenge.

https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/the-comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-26

All gifs came from giphy.com, eylandt.info, & resetera.com.

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