Bronzing Deadpool and The Burger King - Comedy Open Mic Round 28

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blewitt
61
3 months agoBusy4 min read

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2012...what a year. Disney bought Lucasfilm for 4 billion dollars, Hurricane Sandy demolished the Jersey Shore a d dropped a roller coaster into the ocean (now that’s a ride!),The Artist won an Oscar for Best Picture, and I found out my at the time wife (now ex) was getting deep dicked by a balding angry member of local law enforcement on the side! Surprising how he found the time to chuck it in er’ between pulling over black people for no reason and cleaning the hopefully cancerous dip spit off of his handlebar mustache but...those were crazy times. Fun year overall!!!

But it’s what happened next that changed the course of history FOREVER!!! Ok, so that’s not true at all but this badass Deadpool Statue DID come out in 2012. I wasn’t bullshitting ya on that! Lets explore...

Statue and Mini Bust maker Bowen Designs released a Faux Bronze Deadpool Statue in 2012. It was the same sculpt as the statue from 2005 which was sculpted by Erick Sosa and limited to 2500. You can see the original below.

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Around the 2012 timeframe as my personal life was falling apart and I was probably eating lots of cookie dough and crying (still do it), Bowen was pumping out NEW versions of some of his classic statues. Spider-Man, Captain America, Daredevil and more all got the treatment of the newest craze...Faux Bronze paint jobs with my tears on them. Deadpool was no different and suffered the same fate.

They actually were really nice but as always, the idea kinda got run into the ground. We didn’t need a Faux Bronze Odin statue...yet, here we have one. (It does look cool though...dammit!)

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I will say some worked better and popped more than others. Deadpool looks really sweet. Let’s take a peek...shall we??

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The Faux Bronze finish really works well with the simple red and blacks on the Deadpool costume. The base is made to look like it’s marble to give the illusion that this...is a timeless work of art. The sad reality is that this was probably painted by a hungry 11 year old in Vietnam. Damn that kid has steady hands!!!

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While the original Deadpool piece was limited to 2500, the Faux Bronze pieces has much smaller edition sizes. You’ll notice on mine that it’s limited to an extremely low number of just 329! I got a low number here at 4/329!! Kinda a weird number but they were weird times. Let’s not forget that this is the same year that Wendy’s overtook THE BURGER KING to become the world’s 2nd best selling burger chain!!! That soulless ginger dethroned the King and stole its Silver!!! To be honest, the fact that Burger King only had Silver and not Gold makes me respect him so much less. #fakeking

Step up your game Burger King. Make some drastic moves or I’m never gonna get mudbutt from you guys again. I’ll go to a different burger joint that’ll give me the trots and cruise down the Hershey Highway with them.

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That’s what I’m talking about King!!! Ok I’ll dine at your uncleaned tables and use your filthy rest rooms today...

Back to the statue...Lots of cool detail on this piece. The main piece does detach from the base. It has a peg in its food that fits snugly and securely. The sword holders on his back also detach and pop on with ease.

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All in all this piece should go for more than it currently does. It fetches between $250-$300 currently. At one point these were commanding around $400-$500 smackers. I think it’s partially to do with the fact that the statue market is a tad overcrowded but more importantly that Bowen isn’t doing anything currently. Ya see...I wasn’t the only comic and toy loving loser to get divorced years ago. Mr Randy Bowen himself and his miserable wife (yes, she was miserable...I dealt with her personally and she was not a nice human) called it quits and since then, Randy has not done a damn thing. Rumor has it that his not so lovely wife would get the moolah if he did so he’s holding out until the time is right. That’s just nerd gossip though. Oh, if you need any more proof about her sucking, her name was Rocky....just sayin...

Blewitt

I nominate @jaynie & @nycryptotalk for this week’s Comedy Open Mic.

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